Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
