Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
