just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
