just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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