The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
