P.S. I can't hear my feet
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
