i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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