Sponge bath it is.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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