Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
