I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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