It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
