I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
