Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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