the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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