My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
