my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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