is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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