you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
