we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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