There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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