either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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