): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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