How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.