Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?

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  (425): OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy? http://tfl.nu/azer
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (634)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

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  (413): I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited http://tfl.nu/vv7z
  Replies (31) Good night (7304) Bad night (484)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

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  (828): finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night... http://tfl.nu/doej
  Replies (12) Good night (602) Bad night (4574)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.

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  (201): I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high. http://tfl.nu/lc86
  Replies (37) Good night (6595) Bad night (1011)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation

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  (573): just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch (636): Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving? (573): IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation http://tfl.nu/yr3e
  Replies (29) Good night (7003) Bad night (2227)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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  (507): i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined. http://tfl.nu/05lw
  Replies (5) Good night (2572) Bad night (1000)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age

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  (812): The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age http://tfl.nu/fek2
  Replies (10) Good night (3484) Bad night (666)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.

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  (360): You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part. http://tfl.nu/6s9f
  Replies (7) Good night (2370) Bad night (645)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

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  (478): You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable (318): You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call. http://tfl.nu/575v
  Replies (13) Good night (2590) Bad night (717)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.

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  (907): Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid. http://tfl.nu/45so
  Replies (11) Good night (2472) Bad night (442)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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  (352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (425)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket

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  (859): Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket http://tfl.nu/ka4g
  Replies (5) Good night (470) Bad night (1271)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.

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  (503): there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose. http://tfl.nu/3zcu
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (446)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

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  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (389) Bad night (1001)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?

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  (262): Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/mk31
  Replies (13) Good night (513) Bad night (913)

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