This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i now understand why vodka
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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