There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
