Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes

(1-260): View more from Indiana

Are your eyes okay

(260): View more from Indiana

I mean if I was Asian they would be

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(260): So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes (1-260): Are your eyes okay (260): I mean if I was Asian they would be http://tfl.nu/l3r4

Replies (8) Good night (2418) Bad night (822)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

(508): View more from Massachusetts

yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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(603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening (508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night http://tfl.nu/fae5

Replies (45) Good night (5619) Bad night (730)
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(415): View more from California

I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.

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(415): I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic. http://tfl.nu/mbng

Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (2711)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament

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(502): It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament http://tfl.nu/u7ze

Replies (23) Good night (3299) Bad night (985)
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(208): View more from Idaho

What's a "vodkaffle"?

(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.

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(208): What's a "vodkaffle"? (608): It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix. http://tfl.nu/84eu

Replies (10) Good night (4282) Bad night (1119)
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(614): View more from Ohio

And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.

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(614): And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts. http://tfl.nu/c0eu

Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (2533)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.

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(662): As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom. http://tfl.nu/d15a

Replies (15) Good night (2410) Bad night (964)
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(562): View more from California

I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you

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(562): I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you http://tfl.nu/q7ed

Replies (7) Good night (1478) Bad night (591)
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(214): View more from Texas

nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.

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(214): nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours. http://tfl.nu/u4n6

Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (1664)
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(619): View more from California

I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.

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(619): I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face. http://tfl.nu/43n4

Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (680)
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(404): View more from Georgia

You get home ok?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.

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(404): You get home ok? (1-404): Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah. http://tfl.nu/6dv0

Replies (2) Good night (1043) Bad night (398)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"

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(870): I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough" http://tfl.nu/ficv

Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (415)
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(850): View more from Florida

ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE

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(850): ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE http://tfl.nu/47vt

Replies (4) Good night (724) Bad night (327)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"

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(604): I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating" http://tfl.nu/q7vf

Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (331)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.

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(630): He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call. http://tfl.nu/ffg6

Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (345)

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