Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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