Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
