My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
