the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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