butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
