I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
