Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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