in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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