You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
