Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Randomize
