its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize