i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
