he thought i was a dude.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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