i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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