my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
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Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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