idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize