Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
