went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
