marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
