'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
