There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
