I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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