Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
