I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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