I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
