my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
