Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
