YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
