You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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