thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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