Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
