the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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