fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you had me at cake vodka
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
