I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
