You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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