i just wanna soil my oats bro
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
