i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
