I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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