the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Who died my cat blue again?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
