I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it hurts more in the daytime
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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