I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize