I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
