It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
